she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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