my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i think i have herpe
just one?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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