I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
