I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
