good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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