Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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