Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
