she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
