Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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