i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
