dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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