Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
