how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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