There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
