So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
