we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
