What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
