I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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