It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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