Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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