i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
