at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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