he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
