He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
