STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
