Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm at about main and main street
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
