So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
