Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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