i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
handjob tips. give me some.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
