We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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