It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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