M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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