If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
