Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
