My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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