Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Randomize
