She's JV to your varsity
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
