Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
