If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
