i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
