Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
there's paper in my vomit.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
