I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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