If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
