Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
