I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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