had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
