everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
