He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
