sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
