I molested 6 butterflies tonight
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
